The Truth About Forever
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
i used to have a blog called the truth about forever.
but the real truth about forever is that it never lasts as long as you want it to.
'forever' never really means anything other than a few months, or a year or two if you're lucky.
Even if you're lucky enough to find someone who wants to be with you forever, life gets in the way and fucks everything up. Like me for example. I was completely and perfectly happy because I found the one person that I wanted to be with, and life came and fucked everything up. Yes, i'm to blame, but to be honest, fate fucking sucks. Fate is just an excuse people use when things don't work out the way they wanted them to. Like i keep telling myself that if Marco and I are meant to be together, we'll be together, but to be honest, that's not going to happen unless I magically do something right for once and he doesn't completely hate my fucking guts. It fucking sucks so fucking much. I don't care if I sound pathetic anymore. I really don't. I don't care what people at my school think, I don't care what my family thinks, I don't care what my 'best friends' think. I love him more than i've ever loved anyone or anything (other than God). And it sucks, cause i'd do anything for him even now. I feel like everyone pretends they understand how I feel but they fucking don't. And he stopped to get a drink of water in front of me and I looked, and now my heart is beating 500 times faster than it was before. Why can't i feel this way about someone else? Why can't i get over him? why can't i be as happy as he is without me?
Why can't you just give one fucking shit about me?
cant fall back asleep so i'm watching these videos of us. lololawwww.
i still sleep with your teddy bear. this might sound weird but i wish i had something that still smelled like you.
but then i remember all of the hate you have towards me, and then i try to think of something else.
but i cant.
gotta let you go
need to
why cant i?
i like your haircut.
i love you like the stars above.
i love you till i die
