Einde. Vergeet hem
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I should. i can't. I should just forget about you Marco Andres Bohorquez, but i can't. I couldn't stop myself from writing that letter, and i spent hours on it. I'll do anything for you to be mine again.
I'll always be yours, i don't care about anyone or anything else, i just want you. I want my diarito back. I want to be able to call you booba. I want to wake up in the morning and have you happily be the first thing i think about (you are the first thing i think about, but i try not to think about you cause i know you're not thinking about me). I miss being able to talk to you at school, and holding your cute hands.
I know you think i only think about sexual stuff, but i don't mean this in a sexual way. I miss you naked. I miss how perfect your body is. I don't care if you don't have a 11 pack, i love your tummy, its squishy and nece can put her face in it. I miss how much having sex with you meant to me. I miss all the feelings that I felt, and how much closer to you it makes me feel.
I miss cuddling with you and falling asleep in your arms, and how cute you think it is when i snore. I miss putting my head on your chest and having your arm around me and feeling completely safe, and completely happy. I miss you booba :(
i love you so much and i'm sorry i fucked everything up. I know you can't trust me or forgive me right away for what i did, and i don't expect you to. But if we work at it together, it will make us stronger. I know i promised you i'd give you the space you wanted, but it's so hard for me to give you space. Whenever i see you i want to go up to you and hug you. Even just hugging you feels perfect to me. It's like a part of my soul was missing and when i'm in your arms, it's been found. We fit together so perfectly baby, and I don't want anybody else.
I don't know how much further i can explain why i did what i did, but i was scared. you were getting somewhere no one else has ever been before and i needed to push you away. but pushing you away made me want to pull you so much closer, because it was too late, i already got attached to you. I already loved you, and it's not going to change. We should have taken things slower when we started to try again, and maybe you're right, you need time away from me and i guess i need time away from you.
I love you so much and it's so hard to not say anything to you. I'm sorry for calling you a bitch today, it just hurt my feelings that you didn't even want to see me so you had to leave my textbook in front of my locker. Why is it so easy for you to not talk to me? it seems so easy for you to not think about me or look at me in the hallway.
I think i might cry.
