Marco.
Monday, October 31, 2011
I want you. I always want you. But i hate this. I hate being afraid of you hurting me. I really really hate it. I'm running out of places to write my true feelings, because you make me want to tell you everything. I don't want you to hurt me, but i can't really see how it can be avoided. Sure, if we really are made for eachother as you say sometimes (which is cute but scares the shit out of me at the same time) we'll be able to make it through college and stuff. But i just..i don't know. It scares me, that i honest to God for the first time in my life don't want anyone else except you. I want to give you my everything and i want your everything in return. It's too soon for me to feel this way and it really really scares me. Honestly. I hate opening up to people. You just look at me and it's like all my walls come tumbling down.
i'm gonna fall in love with you. That's the truth and it scares the shit out of me. I don't want to fall in love with you. I don't want anyone to have that power over me again. I'm such a mess. I can honestly say that no one has ever made me feel the way you do. No one, and I HONESTLY mean no one has ever made me feel high just by kissing them. Never. No matter how long we've kissed. It's like...i don't feel butterflies or anything like that unless it's been awhile since i've kissed you. Like this morning when we kissed for the first time since friday, i felt all tingly inside and warm and happy. And it immediately got rid of my slightly bad mood. And when we kiss for awhile, by the time we pull away it's like i'm nowhere with you. Like, it's like everything else just fades away and it's just you and me. Just us somewhere, nowhere, and we're high together and nothing else matters. I want all my kisses for the rest of my life to be like that.
Please don't hurt me.
Please, please don't hurt me.
Please, don't hurt me.
Please, please, please don't hurt me.
