Monday, April 16, 2012
ugh
i'm sorry okay? :(
i know you can't trust anything that i say but can you please just try? i love you more than anything and it scares me and i didn't even know i could love someone this much.
please...i know i dont deserve anything from you after how much i repeatedly fucked up but i'm sorry. and i can't take it back but you know if i could i would. i'd do anything to have you back, and yea that makes me pathetic, but if it means even a chance at being with you, then i don't care how pathetic i look.
i love you marco. i really really love you.
maybe you're over me, maybe you've moved on, but for some reason i just can't get over you. and i know that even if you do tell me you forgive me, i still probably wouldn't get over you. i don't really know what to do, but maybe Mr. Kyle was right. no matter what i say you still don't seem to believe me. i really do love you. yea i fucked up, but somewhere along the way you got under my skin, and you made me fall in love with the amazing, cutely freckled, gorgeous person that you are on the outside, and more importantly on the inside. maybe this doesn't mean anything to you, but i don't care. i'm in love with you Marco Andres Bohorquez. i'm so in love with you and i don't know what to do with myself anymore. Yea, i'm with nikola. what do you expect? it's not right though. he's completely in love with me and i honestly can't say i feel the same way about him. because i love you. you won okay? even if you don't want to be with me, you won, because you have me, and he'll never have me. when i decided to give you my virginity, i didn't regret it at all. even though i wanted to wait for marriage, i felt it was right, so i gave it to you. and the fact that you think your virginity didn't mean anything to me hurts. cause it did, and it still does. when i had sex with nikola, it was just like..not just pleasure wise, but emotionally horrible. there was nothing there, and every time we have had sex after that i regret it. i don't want to regret having sex ever, which is why i only want to have sex with you. yea, you don't have the biggest dick, but to be completely honest, having sex with you felt so much better the time we were drunk that we barely remember when it kind of hurt and felt good at the same time, than any time i've ever had sex with nikola. it's because i'm in love with you marco. why can't you just understand that i love you more than anything in the world?
i don't want to bother you and try to talk to you but i can't waste the last two months i have being able to see you everyday not doing anything.
i'll always love you.
always.
